Today is not my favorite day. I have a list of to do's and no motivation to do any of them. I did exercise this morning in hopes that it would give me that needed burst of energy. I didn't. So, after an entire wasted afternoon of being curled up in my blankets, sipping green tea, and watching back episodes of Hellcats, I thought I'd try and be a little bit productive and blog. Though, in the past, writing hasn't been very therapeutic for me. Quite the opposite, actually. I find that it tends to bring up things that I don't want to think about and so I quit when I can't process all the thoughts in my head. Hence, me not blogging at all last month.
This past month has been very difficult. Not only is my own life is disarray, but my family's as well. My Dad's knee is still giving him problems. He had a knee replacement 5 months ago. But it's not healed yet and he has difficulty getting around. He also needs a replacement on the other knee, but the doctors won't consider it until his other one is healed. I can only imagine how frustrating that must be for him. Although I'm not in my peak fitness state, I take it for granted that I CAN just hop up and run away if I wanted. He can't and I'm sure he feels trapped.
Then my mom went into the ER two weeks ago with a ruptured appendix. How random is that!? When I heard she was in the hospital, I jumped in my little car prepared to drive the 4 hours up to Idaho to be there with her when she got out of surgery. Ironically, I hit horrible traffic with construction and it took me 2 hours to just get out of Utah valley, (usually just a 20 minute drive), so I didn't arrive until 10pm. When I walked in, I was happy to see that 3 of my siblings were already there with my Dad and my Mom just seemed to be waking up.
Oh, how I hated seeing my Mom in that hospital bed. I stayed with her every night. She is my bestest and dearest friend, I can't stand the thought of losing her anytime soon. She was released after a few days, but then developed an infection and had to go back in a day later. I think she spent a total of 8 days in the hospital. And now that she's out, she is having gallbladder problems. Good grief! They weren't kidding when they say you start to fall apart after 60. The good thing about it, was that I committed her to start eating healthily and to begin exercise as soon as she can.
I ended up staying up in Idaho for the two weeks. I was grateful for the time with them. They helped me a lot. While I was at the hospital with my Mom, I came to appreciate the nurses. They really work pretty hard. I appreciated how they tried to come to know my Mom and me. One nurse, when she found out what I have been going through, came over and gave me a huge hug. She told me to hang on and I'll find myself again. Then she told me about her story. She survived a 15 year abusive marriage. She said that she was actually kept in her home for 3 years without being able to go out.
It's amazing the bond that seems to be created when abuse victims meet and share stories. I found it so helpful to see what she has done with her life since. She raised her two girls. She became a nurse. She is happy. I like success stories.
While at my Mom's bedside, I also found myself reverting to what I used to do as a child...try and make my mom laugh. So, without really trying, I was telling anecdotes, making fun, and genuinely just being my relaxed and fun self. Amidst one of our laughing sessions, if occurred to me that I enjoyed helping people laugh. It was there that the idea of creating a laughing clinic was born. Who knew that something I did naturally as a child, would perhaps, one day become my calling in life.
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