The Scheme

A couple of years ago, my husband told me he had an idea that I wouldn't like. It was his way of 'thinking outside the box' to help meet our financial demands. He knew my desire was to stay at home with the kids and be a full time mom. He was still in school and didn't think he could work and go to school at the same time. (So, I've been working full time and taking care of the kids while is has been away at school at Harvard.)

He proposed that we have his parents adopt our 2 children. Since they (his parents) are on social security, if they adopted our girls, they would be able to get an increase in benefits. That increase they would pass on to us. He promised that the increase would be enough to allow me to stay home with the kids or allow us to moved out to Boston with him and be able to be together as a family.

I, of course, didn't just say no, I said, 'Hell NO!'

That didn't stop him from talking about it. He continually brought it up and forced the issue to be discussed. I didn't want to consider having my children adopted by anyone, but least of all having them adopted by his parents! I don't trust them and never really have. I don't like the way they babysit our kids. I don't like the way they teach them about certain topics. I didn't want them exposed to his parents more than was absolutely necessary. And neither did my husband, but in discussing it, he promised that the adoption would be on paper only. That this scheme wouldn't change how I was raising them. I was promised that his parents would never get involved in our lives or how we chose to raise our kids.

After over a year of him arguing his points about the adoption, he finally resorted to telling me that is was the only way. That he felt a spiritual confirmation that it was what we were supposed to do. Over that year, our financial situation had worsened. I couldn't make enough money on my own to support the weight of our finances, so I consented to the adoption.

In May 2010, I went before a judge and relinquished my parental rights. The next week, my husband came to me and told me he wanted a divorce and had already filled out the divorce papers. I felt blindsided!