Waiting. I hate waiting.

It's said that patience is a virtue. It appears it's a virtue I haven't mastered, yet. I believe I'm capable of it and I'm sure God is pretty set on allowing me to take the longest road possible to get there!

My deposition, that was scheduled for last month, never happened. It was cancelled. The opposing side decided they wanted to attempt mediation first. Ironically, my lawyer was in favor of this, too and thus, cancelled the deposition.

Mediation did take place last week. I was thrilled to have it over with, but not so thrilled with the outcome. It was a bust. No compromising. No settling. Nothing accomplished except a check mark in the box on the way to trial. The in-laws (or out-laws in this case!) blatantly said they showed up only to see if I was willing/ready to let them proceed with the adoption, unhindered. "Just trust us," they said. At that moment, I saw flashes of the snake off from Disney's, The Jungle Book, with his hypnotic eyes spinning while chanting to Mowgli, "Trust in me...trust in me...." all the while preparing to devour him in one bite. Glad I can see the snakes in my life, now. That's an improvement from the last 6 years.

As for the husband? He showed up without his lawyer. He was burdened with gifts meant for me; an enticement to reconcile, I suppose because every other word out of his mouth was about reconciling (however, only if I allow the adoption to go through). A little creepy, I know! Yet, there he was. I found out from the mediator what the gifts were and realized they were things that were already mine, so I accepted them as he was just returning my belongings to the rightful owner. I, then, put a big, loud, *KIBOSH* on the whole reconciliation idea.

A court date was scheduled for 2 May 2011. Yesterday I got word that it's been cancelled due to my husband claiming he has finals that week, not even that same day. Am I to understand that he is not capable of doing two things in the same week? I have to admit, I wasn't blindsided by this stalling tactic (it's been used frequently in the last 10 months), yet I am frustrated and upset. I would love to be able to take the ups and downs in life in stride--perhaps, I'm better at it than I think. But when it comes to facing another 2 months, (at least!), without seeing my kids...I'm not so patient.